And then it happens.  Sentences are being constructed, in your presence, that you would never consider saying out loud.  And yet, there you sit listening to it.

At some point you manage to get yourself away from the situation, but their words continue to rattle around in your head.  The spiteful gossip that seemed to simply begin as `information’ had entered your conscience and there it sits.  You spend many days recalling the monologue of deceit.

Step outside yourself, and look at the person and situation with a different perspective.  Are they a mirror for you?  Maybe, maybe not.  But they are a lesson for you.  Perhaps the lesson is to simply be more aware of the conversation coming out of your own head.  Or perhaps you are to look at your role in the gossip, even though you didn’t actually add anything to the conversation.  You did sit there and listen?  Maybe you are to learn the importance of walking out on such talk?  After all, you’re the one reliving the situation, while the gossiper is sleeping well at night.

It takes time to learn to deal with matters that are out of your control.  But if this hasn’t happened to you yet, it probably will.  Prepare and take the high road.  Practice a `nice’ way to inform the other person that you don’t care to be involved in this kind of conversation.  Don’t beat around the bush, be upfront.  Hold your hand out in front of you and simply say “this is not information that I need,” pick up your coat and leave.

We all have a different levels of conscience.   Many of us have voted ourselves in as judge and jury, and we take no prisoners.  When this happens in the elderly we kindly refer to it as “she/he has lost their filter.”  The reality is that some never HAD a filter to begin with.      We say things in a kind manner because we `just want to get along.’  However for die hard jurors, sometimes subtleness goes right over their heads.  Someone near and dear to me once said “some people can’t be insulted.”  I guess at the end of the day, that is what speaking up for yourself might be interpreted as.

But I’ll let you be your own judge.

Here’s to a high vibration.

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We are American’s and this is what we do.  I’m not suggesting for a minute that there is anything wrong with all this, but perhaps it’s time to step back and look at this in a different way.

What if…we let the drama die down this time?  What if…we didn’t keep refueling the need for public grief?  Why do we seem to NEED this drama?  If we didn’t do it, would it mean `we’ didn’t care?

I do care.  I care as much about this incident as I cared when my neighbor girl was killed a few years ago.  And the list can go on and on.  NOT having a memorial, does not limit the sadness.  It may prolong it?  What does our `need to know every detail’ say about us?  Do you really believe that the person responsible went to bed happy and woke up and went on a killing spree?  And what about the people who loved him?

For me, I will choose not to listen to the publicity.  The details are the same as they always are.  People are sad in our world and no amount of Dr. Phil is going to change that.

You can protect people from a lot of things, but you cannot protect them from themselves.

I’m sending energy to the situation, just as I have for many catastrophes.

Here’s to a high vibration.

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Smiling at someone on the bus.  While in the park, suggesting to little boy that he is so nice he must have a wonderful parent!  Helping someone put on their coat in the restaurant.  Kindness is contagious.  Even the smallest grin is noticed, because for that person it may be a rare moment.  Referring to someone as `sir’ says `this person has respect for me.’  Instead of using the word `gals’ try to say ‘ladies.’  What you may see is a group of women suddenly standing taller and pulling their shoulders back.

Your words are your message.  Put them out there ahead of you.  Make someone’s day doing something big, like saying hello to someone you don’t know.  Oh, saying hello is not doing something big?  You have no idea how that simple word will be perceived.  With a small effort from you, the vibration you are sending to the other person is huge!  Never underestimate what a kind word will sound like to someone else.

Be willing to make small changes in the way you greet others.  Or, just be cognoscente of greeting strangers.  Smile while driving, many people look so tense or sad behind the wheel!

Here’s to a high vibration.

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When you find yourself opening your mouth and hearing `someone else’s’ words flow out, know that all is well.  Know that the words are perfect and the message is clear.   Accept the fact that you cannot control what the other person will think, or do, with the information you gave them.  Have the foresight to know, when they are ready to understand what you said, they will.

Those words of wisdom come unrehearsed.  Sometimes they come without any thought.  The words of God are in us all.  Somehow they fly out of us when we least expect it, yet the timing is divine.

When this happens to you, allow the flow of words that are perfectly orchestrated to reflect the moment.  After all, it could be a while before it happens again:)

Here’s to a high vibration.

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To change the family dynamics is simple and yet impossible.  Psychiatrists have been trying to talk to us, doctors have been trying to medicate us.  At the end of the day what needs to take place is simply RESPECT.

Respect knows it’s boundaries, no one has had to step up and draw the line, no confrontation is necessary.  Living with respect to yourself and others makes life far more joyful and harmonious.  If you are the person who always seems to tag people with names like `only child,’ or the `alcoholic,’ you clearly need to learn how to respect others.  If you can’t figure out why you need to be so nasty,  look inside yourself.  The answer is always there, waiting for you to find it.  Whether you were always around family who talked like that, or you just like hearing yourself talk, the answer is the same.

Remember times when you were called the `dumb’ one, as an example.  Feel the pain of that.  Imagine the situation, put your young self there.  Allow your tears to flow, your stomach to churn, and your head to hang in shame, fear and sadness.  Sit there in the muck for several minutes.

Raise your head, tell yourself it is a new day, and you are going to be responsible for your own mouth.  Tell yourself the change starts right now and it begins with you.  Feel the warmth of your heart as you speak to others, using genuine and sincere compliments.  Notice your smile when you are in disagreement about something that is non of your business.  If you feel the need to listen to other members of your family disrespect each other, you will fall right back into your old pattern.  Get up, say you do not care to be a part of the conversation, and walk out.  You don’t need to be a defender, unless you want to.  But save yourself from shifting backward.  Be the new leader, believe me you will get noticed.  Let some of the small things go and remind your loved ones that you care about them, and stop calling them names!

We are adults for a  long time, we better get to acting like it!

Here’s to a high vibration.

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Youth, it’s full of pit falls.  Many of the decisions you made in your younger years, you will have to carry throughout your life.  The professionals call it `baggage.’

We can be very hard on ourselves wishing we hadn’t done this or that.  But the reality is, why you were living a life, that may have a few regrets, so was everyone else!  If you are one of the few that managed to keep your head, meet your goals and are now looking for a mate you may be surprised about other people’s baggage.

May I suggest that why you’re summing up your date,  you use caution.  There is a difference between someone that isn’t for you, and someone who got where they are in spite of their problems.  Some of us managed to persevere through the worst of situations, while others can’t deny the life they have lived.

Judge not.  Look deeper.  We are not superficial beings, but rather complex humans who fall prey to our emotions and life in general.  It seems to me that if you have learned your lessons, given life your best shot every day, and managed to survive working toward being a `grown up’ you would be more then worthy of spending your life with another person.

As you look at your own life, emotions may come up that you thought were gone forever. It’s OK!  It’s called FEELING!  Don’t sit in judgement, but rather pat yourself on the back for a lesson learned, and a life lived.

And most importantly, smile and laugh ’cause it ain’t over yet!

Here’s to a high vibration.

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You know what that looks like.  Sometimes it’s poor timing, someone slips, your tires hit ice or something just comes out of nowhere and BAM!

Blaming can create havok within the blamer.  As the story goes on, the blamer runs the scenario through his head so many times that he begins to believe it himself.  These `tapes’ can replay forever and destroy many lives, especially the life of the `owner’ of the tape.

Forgiveness is our ally.  Try taking the situation and seeing it from a different perspective.  Choose not to discuss it with everyone.  Don’t be a `pot stirrer.’  People may be suffering without any help from you.  Take the high road.  Be tolerant, be understanding and most of all, be forgiving.  Remember, we are all here to learn and experience life.  What you do with that experience is up to you.

Here’s to a high vibration

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We need both personalities in the world.  One is not better or greater then the other.  If a person who is normally in a `follower’ role tries to become a leader he may very well succeed but it may take a while for him to feel comfortable in his new role.

We may very well switch from being a leader to being a follower and visa versa.  This often happens in adolescence.  The need to belong can take a leader and send him into a follower role.  As the teen grows older and no longer has a need to be accepted by a particular peer group, he may change back into a leadership position in his life.

The need for acceptance,  control over others or situations etc. are common reasons for this role switching.

If you look back, you may recognize this changing in your own life.  It is neither good or bad.  In a way, we are all chameleons.  We change to adapt to our environment, out of need.

Whether you are a leader or a follower it is important to keep good intentions.  Your role in this world is important.  You are here for a reason, live on purpose.  You will find your way and know when to switch roles again, if ever.

Here’s to a high vibration.

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Briefly consider a problem that you had a month ago.  What did you do about it?  Does it still carry the same `sting’ that it did?  Probably not.  The problem may still exist, but your perspective about what happened has probably changed.  As time goes by, we reflect on a problem.  Initially, if we have called the situation a problem, we can become almost obsessed thinking about it.  Then a week goes by and the obsession subsides a little.  By the time the second week has passed so many other things have happened in our lives, that the initial problem is but a memory.  Soon…hey, life happens.  It is our focus, or our need to `fix things,’ or perhaps guilt, that make a problem hang on.  With time, these feeling subside an we gain a new perspective.

Can time heal?  Yes.  Our human-ness allows a new perspective.  Learn to be an observer in your life.  Time heals even faster then:)

Here’s to the 50′s.

Here’s to a high vibration.

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So what if…what if your ‘personal representative’ took a year off and people got to know the real `you?’  What would happen?  Would you suddenly become less confident and lose the respect that you have worked so hard to get?  Maybe.  But what you receive in return may just outweigh what, in your mind, you will lose.

You are a child of the Universe.  You are here on purpose.  You are here to teach and learn and experience.  You are a part of this wonderful place we call `the world.’  You are a part of the magnificence of it all.  No need to show up carrying your personal representative.  That person is heavy and perhaps transparent.  You may not be using your ‘personal representative’ to convince others of your greatness.  You may just be packing this load to convince yourself.

Ask yourself, “what is so horrible about me that I think I cannot be successful without appearing to be someone/something I am not?”  Your honest answer is probably superficial.  You might even be surprised how many people are not thinking about you at all.

Let your `personal representative’ take the year off.  You could both use the break.

Here’s to a high vibration.

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